When I look at this title again, I wonder if I should say 'age' instead of 'century'. To make it more flexible. An age can take a hundred years, or less, or more. So let's hope this is a short age.
Also in the title I put the word “tabu”. Because envy is a word we don’t mind using for someone else, but for our selves… No one likes to admit being envious. It is a black shadow we don’t want to acknowledge. Therefore is it a tabu.
What is envy? Where does it come from? Where do we find it "en masse"? Can we control it? What can we do about it?
All these questions come up when people get confronted with envy, whether in themselves or because others envy them.
We especially encounter envy in circles of the same occupation: politicians, healers, masseurs, medical specialists, electricians, plumbers, computer-technicians, friends etc. o yes, friends, that is where envy occurs sooo often.
It often comes from a place of competition; a place of insecurity in one's own capacities.
In the following three phases of envy I will try to answer the other three questions.
There are different kinds of envy. Yet all have in common the fact that someone else has, does, knows or is something that the person who envies, wants. This wanting can have different degrees; that's why there are different kinds of envy.
Degree 1: Someone goes on holidays to a place we really like and would like to go to too. We envy the person for her/his holidays, yet we really feel this person deserves it and we are happy for this person to have this opportunity. This is envy in its innocent state. It is mild, and absolutely harmless.it is not that we don’t want that person to experience whatever wonderful things, but simply that what that person is going to have appeals to us too.
Degree 2: A person is very good and successful in what she/he has chosen as her/his work. On top of it attractive in her/his looks and very pleasant in the way this person behaves towards others. We envy this person for her/his looks, success and niceness of character, as we see clearly we don’t have these qualities.
Until here there is still no harm done. But we start talking about this person in such a way, that it looks we are saying how good they are, but build in a negative statement that sounds like a positive one (he is so nice, but very strong though! or wait until she/he says what you have to do, it is very confrontative and not easy to deal with) because we carefully want to show this person is not as wonderful as it seems. We want to get the kind of attention this person gets (and deserves), and so start to build up an image around this person that is untruthful, and as a consequence will make many people back away from this person without even knowing her/him.
This is quite moving into the wrong direction. We must realise that we have no benefit from this whatsoever. We only will feel worse when someone discovers what we are doing, or when we discover it ourselves. So many do not even realise that they are doing this. Their own insecurity has led them to do this and their pattern might come from very far back so that by now they are really not even aware of it.
Now, what to do? Be happy that you know a person like this; that you can actually benefit from this persons character directly. Take this person as an example and try to work on those qualities you really admire in the other. See the reality that this person has worked with dedication to achieve this state of being, that this has come by merit, not by luck. Enjoy the love this person radiates and see the good it brings the world, this world that will be a better world if more people would be like her/him. Feel fortunate to have the awareness ofwill help change the world for the better.
Degree 3: we take the same example as in degree 2. We do all what we have talked about in this example, yet we do not just talk so-called positive about the person, we actually talk negative about her/him. We might not even know this person but we take over the opinion of others and spice it with our own comments. We make it impossible for anyone to like this person. We feel inside we would like this person not to exist. Or even stronger: we might feel we want to destroy the person (we might not act upon this though).
This is the illness of this age/century. This is where we have slowly headed for: to talk bad about others, as it might make us look better. Unfortunately there are many people that put themselves high and at the same time others low, thinking it will make them shine more.
Now sorry folks, but this is not the case. It does not work this way. You look really good if you can praise someone sincerely; when you talk about someone else with awe, respect, love, admiration or any other positive feeling or emotion. You will have absolutely no benefit of doing the bad PR (Public Relations). You might close doors for other people who need this person though. You get yourself heavily involved in negative karma this way, and not just with the person you envy. You take on an enormous responsibility for the destinies of all these people that might have wanted to contact your envied person but won't after your negative PR.
What to do about it? Take the advice of degree 2 very serious, and ask the person of your envy for forgiveness, and even for help. You will be surprised how wonderful this works so that you can become real friends and that to this person your "big sin" is not a big deal once it is on the table.
Also in the title I put the word “tabu”. Because envy is a word we don’t mind using for someone else, but for our selves… No one likes to admit being envious. It is a black shadow we don’t want to acknowledge. Therefore is it a tabu.
What is envy? Where does it come from? Where do we find it "en masse"? Can we control it? What can we do about it?
All these questions come up when people get confronted with envy, whether in themselves or because others envy them.
We especially encounter envy in circles of the same occupation: politicians, healers, masseurs, medical specialists, electricians, plumbers, computer-technicians, friends etc. o yes, friends, that is where envy occurs sooo often.
It often comes from a place of competition; a place of insecurity in one's own capacities.In the following three phases of envy I will try to answer the other three questions.
There are different kinds of envy. Yet all have in common the fact that someone else has, does, knows or is something that the person who envies, wants. This wanting can have different degrees; that's why there are different kinds of envy.
Degree 1: Someone goes on holidays to a place we really like and would like to go to too. We envy the person for her/his holidays, yet we really feel this person deserves it and we are happy for this person to have this opportunity. This is envy in its innocent state. It is mild, and absolutely harmless.it is not that we don’t want that person to experience whatever wonderful things, but simply that what that person is going to have appeals to us too.
Degree 2: A person is very good and successful in what she/he has chosen as her/his work. On top of it attractive in her/his looks and very pleasant in the way this person behaves towards others. We envy this person for her/his looks, success and niceness of character, as we see clearly we don’t have these qualities.
Until here there is still no harm done. But we start talking about this person in such a way, that it looks we are saying how good they are, but build in a negative statement that sounds like a positive one (he is so nice, but very strong though! or wait until she/he says what you have to do, it is very confrontative and not easy to deal with) because we carefully want to show this person is not as wonderful as it seems. We want to get the kind of attention this person gets (and deserves), and so start to build up an image around this person that is untruthful, and as a consequence will make many people back away from this person without even knowing her/him.
This is quite moving into the wrong direction. We must realise that we have no benefit from this whatsoever. We only will feel worse when someone discovers what we are doing, or when we discover it ourselves. So many do not even realise that they are doing this. Their own insecurity has led them to do this and their pattern might come from very far back so that by now they are really not even aware of it.
Now, what to do? Be happy that you know a person like this; that you can actually benefit from this persons character directly. Take this person as an example and try to work on those qualities you really admire in the other. See the reality that this person has worked with dedication to achieve this state of being, that this has come by merit, not by luck. Enjoy the love this person radiates and see the good it brings the world, this world that will be a better world if more people would be like her/him. Feel fortunate to have the awareness of
Degree 3: we take the same example as in degree 2. We do all what we have talked about in this example, yet we do not just talk so-called positive about the person, we actually talk negative about her/him. We might not even know this person but we take over the opinion of others and spice it with our own comments. We make it impossible for anyone to like this person. We feel inside we would like this person not to exist. Or even stronger: we might feel we want to destroy the person (we might not act upon this though).
This is the illness of this age/century. This is where we have slowly headed for: to talk bad about others, as it might make us look better. Unfortunately there are many people that put themselves high and at the same time others low, thinking it will make them shine more.
Now sorry folks, but this is not the case. It does not work this way. You look really good if you can praise someone sincerely; when you talk about someone else with awe, respect, love, admiration or any other positive feeling or emotion. You will have absolutely no benefit of doing the bad PR (Public Relations). You might close doors for other people who need this person though. You get yourself heavily involved in negative karma this way, and not just with the person you envy. You take on an enormous responsibility for the destinies of all these people that might have wanted to contact your envied person but won't after your negative PR.
What to do about it? Take the advice of degree 2 very serious, and ask the person of your envy for forgiveness, and even for help. You will be surprised how wonderful this works so that you can become real friends and that to this person your "big sin" is not a big deal once it is on the table.
